My Son Said The B-Word: No, I Don’t Mean Butt

So, I feel like I should preface this by saying, “He didn’t hear it from me…”  Though, I still feel responsible for it.  Before we actually dive into this story, I do want to share that I know I am not alone in this.  I know that this has happened to a lot of parents.  I would also like to add in a slightly higher pitched voice, “but why did it have to happen to me?!”

Okay, let’s start.  It was a day like many others.  The kids had just about had it with their lessons.  They were completely done.  So I thought, a park break is just what we needed.  I figured we could go to the park, the babes would get all of their wiggles out, and then maybe when we got back home, they would be able to focus more on their studies.  Anyway, we got to the park and my children raced to the grounds.  If I am going to be honest, I really needed this break as well.  I love to teach my children, but even I need some time to filter in other things.  Well, things were going okay, but then my sweet son came over to me with a long face.  He told me that he didn’t have anyone to  play with.  One of the things that I speak over my children all the time is that they make friends everywhere they go.  I’ve said it so much that they really have it down in their hearts as truth, which is what I wanted.  Because it is true.  Leiah had met someone new and was off playing.  So I told Elijah that he would find someone to play with and he did!  This little boy he met, ran around and played so many games with him.  I was so relieved because I really didn’t want our park time to be spent with my son moping. 

After a short time had passed, I noticed that my son and his new “friend” were playing with a walkie talkie.  I think it belonged to the little boy.  They were listening to someone on the other end.  This is where it gets scary and before you start to judge, I can honestly say this happened all in a span of 2 minutes.  By the time I had actually processed what was happening, the event had already occurred.  What event?  Let’s get to it.  When I noticed they were playing with a walkie talkie, I moved in a little closer.  The little boy had leaned in toward my son’s ear and attempted to whisper, but most children don’t have great volume control and he was no different.  I heard him say, “call him a b****”.  Mouth agape, for some reason, I waited to see what my son would do.  Listen…my husband has the best reflexes out of the two of us.  I can tell you, he would have caught it mid *bleep*.  So, I listened on as my son repeated exactly word for word, “call him a b****!”  He said it with enthusiasm.  Okay, now my immediate reaction included a swift walk over to his side.  Once there, I all but snatched him up by his collar.  He knew I was upset because I had that look on my face and my skin wrinkled into four even lines on my forehead.  Ready for the conversation? Here we go:

“What did you just say?” mom asked with what appeared to be steam rising from her hair.

“I’m sorry mom, I think I said a bad word.” He replied.

“I asked you”

“I said b****.  I didn’t mean it mom.”

She stared at him silently for what seemed like five minutes.  Her face now void of all emotion, she slowly bent down to his eye level and began to speak.

“You are in time out.” She said calmly.  “Get to the table…now.”

End of conversation. Did you like how I did that?  I wanted to actually put you in my shoes for a minute.  I’m hoping I gave you an accurate portrayal of my reaction as well as a small laugh. 

Can I just say that I was extremely disappointed?  Not with my son, but with myself.  I mean who just sits still and waits to see if their child will follow the command of another child?  So, two things ran through my mind.  One, my son doesn’t even know how to properly curse.  Which I should be grateful for, because he doesn’t know anything about those words.  This put me at ease to know that I was at least doing something right.  Two, I have to take time and explain to both of my children why we don’t use those words.  Thank goodness, my pastor spoke briefly on curse words a few Sundays ago.  I had something to pull from.  I took time to explain this to them both once we were in the car.  They received it very well.  We came back home and started on our lessons.  Now that the incident had been taken care of, I had time to quietly come back to my room and laugh.  I mean big belly laughs.  Is it funny that it happened?  I feel like you will judge me if I don’t say no.  So, for the sake of this post, the answer is no.  As much as I am disappointed, I am also in a place of extending grace.  Especially because he honestly had no clue what that word meant.  I think that taking time to explain to our children (when they hear them) what these words mean for them and how it effects them and those around them is important.