Ya,ll. I’m 30 now *sob sob*. I know, I know. Some of you are thinking, “Wow, she is like ten years ahead of me”! And others of you are thinking, “You’re just a baby!”. I get it. Big deal. I’m 30. Get over it.
It’s true. I am being a little dramatic. Honestly I think what made it the hardest was because it was a milestone birthday but it was also the first birthday I’ve had since my dad passed. He’s been gone 3 months now. It feels like I’m entering into a whole new era of life without my father. And any step forward is painful and comes with resistance, for it means accepting the fact that he’s truly gone. I am blessed to have family living close and I relied on them and my friends and most of all God to get through the weekend. And not only did I make it (alive even 😉 ), but I learned a few things.
Beyond learning new lessons in grief, I find myself re-evaluating what I’ve accomplished so far in life. I mean, I’m 30 now. The twenties are gone and I want to see what I have done and gained in the last 10 years that I had hoped to, and what I haven’t. It gives me extremely clear focus on what goals I have now and what I still hope yet to accomplish. And not only has it given me clarity, but it’s put me on quite a determined path to move forward and it’s motivated me to push towards the goals I’ve set for myself.
I think in my twenties it was easier to stroll along and know that my ambitions floated around out there somewhere, adrift in the future like a ballon in the breeze. But something about turning 30 has turned up the motivation factor quite about a bit. And not even in a stressful, frightened and “ahhhhhh I’m running out of time” kind of way, but more similar to an epiphany; a wake up call if you will.
It’s made me realize that I can’t just sit around and dream about my calling and plans. In order to accomplish them, I need to actually get up off my butt and do something! Want to lose that baby weight and be a “hot mama”? Okay great. Start eating right and exercising when you can, not just “looking into” exercising and eating right. Make it a priority. Want to get over your fear of singing in public and share your love of music with the world? Great! Then pick a few songs to cover with your amazingly talented hubby, record an amateur video and post it online (everyone else does). What better time than Christmas with all the carols? Want to be a writer? Awesome! Then sit down and start writing. Don’t just think about how it would be a dream come true to be a writer some day. Oh, you want nice skin? Then WASH it every night! 😉
These are all actually about me and have all been things I’ve decided to pursue and have pursued in the past week. And let me tell you, today is Monday and I am having the best day! Guys, a Monday is the best day??? You know something is up if Monday is going well.
Listen, I have taken care of my face every night for the past week or two and it’s not even such a chore to do anymore since it’s become routine. And my face is clearing up in ways it hasn’t in years. I started eating healthier and am going keto. It’s been one week and I feel fabulous and am down 5 pounds already. My other dreams and goals are on track too.
Now, why do I share all of this? And how is this a lesson? Here’s why. It kills me to know that I waited until a special birthday or specific life moment forced me into re-evaluating life to decide what I want from it. I shouldn’t have had to wait for that. I could have done this at any time and been working away at these goals, taking life by the horns and taking it for all it has to offer a long time ago. But I didn’t. I fell into some kind of complacent cycle of contentment. Except even then I wasn’t really content. Deep down I knew what I wanted to accomplish.
I share this with you because I want TODAY to be your day. NOW is the time. Pretend you’re me and you’re turning 30 today. Tonight, after the kids go to bed, give yourself 15 minutes. Yes, I know there are dishes to be done and lunches to be packed and toys to be picked up etc etc etc. There always is. Just listen. I need you to make 15 minutes in your night for just you. Sit down. Snuggle up with a blanket and think about what you’ve accomplished and what you still hope to accomplish. Make goals and think of the general way to accomplish them. Figure out step one and guess what? Start tomorrow! Don’t wait.
My hope is that you’re able to have that lightbulb moment like I did. You’ll see your hopes and dreams and begin to shoot for the stars. I have and I can’t tell you what a difference it makes, or how free and excited I feel.
Love you mamas!