What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? -Excerpt from Harlem by Langston Hughes
So many things I want to say right now, but I will settle on just a few. Often times we find ourselves living a life we never could have dreamed of. I certainly am. This, however, doesn’t always mean that we are fully satisfied in every area. We may be living a life we never dreamed of, but that also means we are not living the life we dreamed.
It’s hard not to seem ungrateful when you still think about the things you didn’t get a chance to do. Life happens, marriage happens, and children eventually make their debut. Although I am grateful for my life, there are still some things I would like to do. You see, I don’t have any regrets that I’m aware of. Many of the major decisions that I made have put me right where I am now and there is honestly no better place. I do still have dreams though.
Moms, as we go through our day to day lives we make sure everyone in the house is taken care of. We make sure all of the chores are done (mostly…sometimes). We make sure our children have what they need emotionally from us. We secure their dreams, to the best of our abilities. Sometimes to the detriment of our own. What is it that you have longed to do? What still keeps you up at night? What’s that thought you can’t seem to shake? For me, it’s writing. I love to express myself by using every word I can find to describe, retrace, and beautify the world around me. I haven’t done all that I dreamed I would do in the writing world, but let me tell you what happened. I had truly taken the time to sit with God concerning this. There was a time in my life that I was so angry and frustrated with my writing. A couple of my stories had been rejected. My thoughts were becoming scattered and I practically had no time to work on my craft. I began to think that this was not what God had for me. I got caught up in my life and my children. That was not a bad thing actually, but it didn’t leave much room for me to focus on my dreams.
I started to pray concerning this and talk to God. I asked Him to give me new dreams and to take away what I could not use. Still, the passion for writing remained. You ever have a Bible verse that you’ve known since you were a kid, but the revelation of the verse didn’t come to you until you were an adult? Well, I have this verse that I had been holding on to for so long and then one day it hit me that this verse was indeed for me at this time. “But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33NIV)
The context of this verse is about worry and how we shouldn’t worry because God will take care of our needs. Instead, fix our eyes on Him and His righteousness. For me, this verse began to speak to me. What I envisioned God saying to me was, “Hey, instead of focusing on what’s wrong, focus on me. Fall into me. Fall in love with me first, take on my character, develop a heart for the kingdom, and I will give you what you desire.” The thing that I love about God is that He does answer your prayers, better than you would have ever imagined. So, what happened? Well, I took my eyes off of what was troubling me and focused on Him. You know what? He did exactly what He said He would. My desires were given to me…with a twist. I had become so enamored with the kingdom of God that My writing changed. Now what I desire to write brings Him glory and honor. I’ve had more writing opportunities and ideas than I can count on both hands. I thought my children and my life as a wife were, at one point, holding me back when in actuality they were propelling me forward. Had I not fixed my eyes on Him, I wouldn’t have seen it.
See, God can fix our focus. He can help us with our dreams. What is it that you have put away? God may be telling you it’s time to bring it back out. Moms, I know we have so many directions we are being pulled in, but we need to make sure we don’t give up on those dreams. They are important. They have been placed in us for a reason and it is not to allow them to fester. They are meant to grow and spark new dreams in others. Be encouraged. Dreams awakened, vision focused…can’t lose.